Opening Night of Life

Crescent Full Moon,© 2015, Alicia R Peterson, acrylic on linen 36 x 24 in. $1100 Photo: Peter Scheer Crescent Full Moon evolved from my kinship with Mother Nature and was painted outside under a cloudy full moon night.

Crescent Full Moon,© 2015, Alicia R Peterson, acrylic on linen, 36 x 24 in. $1100.  Photo: Peter Scheer
Crescent Full Moon evolved from my kinship with Mother Nature and was painted outside under a cloudy full moon night.

I am waking up in the middle of the night with dread. There is the tinge of stress in all my steps.

I walk into my studio and say to myself, “My paintings are not good enough. 

It must be opening night.

The dichotomy of my life is so clear at this moment. I have just completed an intensive 6 months creative burst. My new work stops me in my tracks. So where is that artist? Where is that voice now?

In 2013 after quitting my 29-year life as Doctor of Audiology, I jumped off the cliff of certainty and into the chaos of artist entrepreneur.

I did not know if my feet would touch the ground. But I was certain I had to jump after 2 decades of keeping my voice silent. 

As I wavered on the edge, some of my fellow creatives suggested that I imagine parachutes to break my fall off the cliff.  Some reminded me of their support in all my choices to soften my fall. And some put a foot on my butt and tried to push me off the cliff.

I give heartfelt thanks to all those feet nudging me into the great unknown. 

This is not my first rodeo, I mean opening. What I have come to realize is that my life as an artist mirrors our lives in many ways and like the seasons, spring will surely come. I have been telling myself to accept this ebb and flow of anxiety and self doubt like the tides. Flow in, flow out…can you tell I have returned to my meditation practice?

Anxiety, uncomplimentary self-talk…. Can I become friends with these? 

What if my doubts are universal and like my shadow, part of my make-up? I recently heard a veteran, very successful artist proclaim, “I don’t know if I can create anything worthy again.”

By the time you get near the top that voice of “I can’t” is supposed to stop right?

Well, no I guess.

And the kernel of the idea that I must make friends with all my colors in art and in life started to grow.

Perhaps the conversation with the voice of “I can’t”  should go like this: “Hello old friend. What do you have to say? And can you leave now?”

P.S. The opening was grand!  Yes, not just the artists came to the opening. Yes, I got prime wall space. Yes, Balance Motion was in motion.

 

Opening Night at Inspired By, “Balance Motion” © Alicia R Peterson, acrylic on panel, 18 x 18 inches, $450, for sale at the Long Island Museum. Photo: Long Island Museum

Opening Night at Inspired By, “Balance Motion” © Alicia R Peterson, acrylic on panel, 18 x 18 inches, $450, for sale at the Long Island Museum.

Photo: Long Island Museum

The Show Must Go On!

Inspired By 
Open through January 29, 2017
The Long Island Museum
1200 Route 25A
Stony Brook, NY 11790
Info Long Island Museum: 631-751-0066

Are you friends with all the colors in your life? Tell us your story below.

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